My brother is getting married on Friday

"XJDano" (xjdano) 04/28/2015 at 22:18 • Filed to: Best Man

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of course I’m the best man, I have to write a speech. There will be enough drama between now & then. I’m trying to stay out of it. Kids library book Cover for you to look at. It's actually very jalop.

MLGCarGuy > XJDano 04/28/2015 at 22:25

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I saw a kids’ library book about “street cred”. Apparently a Civic with 8 exhaust tips gives you the most street cred.

EDIT: here is the book cover. Also, good luck on your speech!

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > XJDano 04/28/2015 at 22:32

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writing best man speech is easy, I literally wrote my mates one on a napkin at the reception.

Open with thanking everyone for coming
compliment the bride and ask everyone to give a hand to the bridesmaids, don’t they look amazing.
back-hand compliment groom
introduce yourself
humorous anecdote about you and groom that shows groom has good qualities and commenting on some of his achievements
humorous anecdote about groom and now-wife, wifing that girl is now his biggest achievement.
something something about family.
Raise a glass to the couple, calling them by name.
Congratulations.


Keep it to a page max.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard 04/28/2015 at 22:35

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Don’t forget the embarrassing childhood story about the groom!

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 04/28/2015 at 22:42

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that was implied as the humorous anecdote about best man and groom. but it needs to be embarrassing but not too embarrassing. So you can segue into how they have improved or learnt from that experience.

daender > MLGCarGuy 04/28/2015 at 22:50

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It’s a drag racing trick turned rice.

Civics and FWD cars used to do it to reduce drag caused by the air pocket developing behind their rear bumper. The eventual mass-marketing and production of faux-diffusers has replaced the speed hole phenomena.

MLGCarGuy > daender 04/28/2015 at 22:55

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Good to know. Shows rice lives up to its name of race inspired cosmetic enhancements.

Deal Killer - Powered by Focus > XJDano 04/28/2015 at 22:58

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Yep, been there, done that. Just remember two things. Be funny, but not too funny.

And for God’s sake, stay sober. Nothing, I repeat, nothing is worse than the drunk best man speech. It is just so painful.

vdub_nut: scooter snob > XJDano 04/28/2015 at 22:59

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I had six months to write a best man speech once. I ended up writing it the night before, and it made everyone with a pulse cry. Naturally, this left out her side of the family, because Harpies don’t have hearts.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > XJDano 04/28/2015 at 23:18

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Did he get the prenup?

XJDano > Deal Killer - Powered by Focus 04/29/2015 at 08:26

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Before my wedding 5 years ago, my brother was Best man for my cousin. Was drunk, tried to be off the cuff, was terrible. I told him. Whatever you do write it down.

He was shit faced at my wedding. I promised revenge, but not going to. I grew some uneven sideburns instead. That way you can see me being an asshole in all the photos. Passive aggressive at its best.

XJDano > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard 04/29/2015 at 08:33

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Thanks so much. I think I will actually use this as an outline / fill in the blanks. I want it done quick, like under 90 seconds.

He told me about whatever crap they had planned, love letters to each other they read while getting ready, his was at 5 pages. Blah, gag me. Romance after 5 years marriage is starting the coffee maker or maybe picking up doughnuts from gas station.

May replace the champaign with Fireball. My uncle did that at his wedding, choice of Jäger or champaign.

XJDano > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 04/29/2015 at 08:39

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Doubtful, there isn’t much to split anyway. A house & 2 cars.

XJDano > MLGCarGuy 04/29/2015 at 08:45

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I may have seen this. Kind of funny.